A Special Partnership: Parents and Caregivers

By Lori Carraway.

Washington State University, Cooperative Extension

Snohomish County

When mom brought Jeremy to childcare he was clingy. Recently separated, mom was anxious and exhausted, but uncomfortable telling center staff about the divorce. She hoped Jeremy would get special attention and extra hugs from his teacher, but the teacher was still working with the group in Circle Time when mom had to leave. Jeremy stood alone and watched the group, while he sucked his thumb. Mom felt miserable all day long.

Parents and childcare providers bring different perspectives to the business of helping children develop –and, if they work together, these differing views can be very helpful for children’s development. For example, a parent’s unique understanding of the child and the family is a rich resource for caregivers. A parent knows about the child’s moods, his preferences, his early experiences and his interests. She has found approaches, routines, and techniques that may be helpful for the caregiver to understand. The parent can explain family traditions and expectations, so caregivers can structure approaches and create activities for individual children. Paths of understanding between childcare and home are more easily traveled when caregivers know about Dee’s new puppy, or that Ed’s grandma is visiting, or that Jeremy’s family is sad.

Parents know their own children best. Having worked with groups of children, caregivers know a lot about children’s development, in general, and they learn more about each child every day. Caregivers have experienced developmental sequences and they recognize age-appropriate behaviors. They use good observation skills to set up learning environments, to prevent disputes, and to tune into each child. When caregivers invite a parent into the classroom, for even a few minutes, they can help the parent observe how her child interacts in the group. The caregiver can model appropriate practices, helping the parent to notice "teachable" moments, try new techniques for enlisting children’s cooperation, and remind about limits.

Although research tells us that parents are the most important people in their child’s education and development, not all parents see themselves as teachers. They may need help with some "natural" teaching methods and ideas. Caregivers are experts in this arena! For example, parent newsletters might suggest using routine household tasks, like sorting laundry – matching colors, items, and textures -- or counting out the spoons for breakfast – "one for me, one for daddy, one for Aaron" – as learning experiences for children. Such activities help children learn math, language and social studies concepts. Caregivers might also suggest how parents can use "rich" language -- action words like "mixing," "scooping," and "scrubbing," or labels like "spatula," "kettle," or "drain" – while they prepare meals or clean bathrooms. Since preschoolers learn constantly and they like to help, learning opportunities abound in daily household routines, but parents might need encouragement. They might also need to know that caregivers see the positive results of their home teaching!

Parents and caregivers are busy people who usually touch base for only a few minutes before or after a long workday. Communication takes effort, time and energy, but if trust is to develop, communication is essential and worthwhile. Everyone wins – everyone -- when parents and caregivers forge trusting, working relationships and agree on goals for children and approaches for reaching those goals. To become creative, competent citizens, children need the adults in their lives to work together as partners.