A few weeks ago I did a training session for childcare-providers on "Partnering with Parents." There were 49 participants aged 18 through 70-something in the room. Forty-eight were women. I asked, "How many of you take at least 15 minutes each day just for yourself?" Only 4 hands went up, and one of them belonged to the male participant!

The episode underscores an important issue. If we are caring for children every day, how can we keep on giving and giving and giving if we don't take time for ourselves? Stress research tell us that people get irritable, resentful, sick, burned out and./or even divorced unless they learn techniques to manage their stress. Taking care of ourselves by making the time to do some self-nurturing -- like getting a hair cut, going for a walk, visiting with a friend, reading a good book, exercising, or playing -- is a primary stress-management technique. It is not wrong to take time for yourself, it is essential! Our society has taught us, especially those of us who are women, that doing things for ourselves is selfish....rather, we should serve others and care for others until we "drop!" Well, "dropping" may be viewed as "good" or "saintly," but is sure doesn't seem very smart or even very useful -- for anyone.

We are thinking unrealistically if we expect others to GIVE us the time we need....we simply have to MAKE it and TAKE it. In doing so, we might be able to recoup and rejuvenate and continue working creatively and gently with the children and adults in our lives. By taking the time, we might be able to prevent the serious effects of unmanaged and on-going stress. I applaud parents and caregivers who take time for self-nurturing because, in so doing, they model self-respect. They are also better equipped to handle those stressful days when things just don’t go the way they planned.

Fifteen minutes. One quarter of an hour. Fifteen minutes equals about 1% of the 1440 minutes in a day. Surely, each of us deserves at least that!